Don't trivialise the situation by rushing them. Consultant psychiatrist Dr Sachin Patkar says, "Be composed. Do not rush them and do not try to fill in the blanks just to get the conversation over.
Let your co-worker take as much time as he/she needs to tell you. If you need any further help, you can join our free, anonymous community.(After years of speculation, Olympic swimmer Ian Thorpe recently came out.)
So, if you are wondering how to tell your parents your gay, lesbian, bisexual, asexual or transgender, that’s how to start. You get to come home to the people who love you for you, regardless of sexuality. We can’t choose our family but as life unfolds, we can choose our friends. Don’t deprive yourself of the opportunity to find belonging. There is nothing more powerful than being around and supported by people who get what you are going through. Talk to us.Įveryone’s experience is different so whether you are on the brink of doing it, have done it but are struggling or need support with it all, join our community to talk to one of our awesome mentors who understand completely what you are going through and get advice from others who have similar experiences… 9. It sucks because your family might miss out on the chance of loving you because they can’t see past their own fears based on ignorance. It sucks because life can be tough enough without experiencing ignorance and hatred towards something you are powerless over.
It sucks because we live in a society that places one sexuality as the norm at the expense of any other. It sucks because we don’t choose our sexuality.
Add a dollop of homophobia on top and it’s downright petrifying. Homophobia sucks.Ĭoming out to your parents can be a scary prospect. Your sexuality is normal and there is nothing wrong or bad about loving who you want to love. Your sexuality and shame have no place together. What it tells you and how it seeks to make you feel is distorted bulls***! The whole process of coming out of the closet is going against the shame that plays a part in keeping you hidden and in the dark. If your parent’s reaction is to try and shame you for your sexuality. On the other side of that fear is relief and liberation. No matter how scared you might feel now, this will get easier. Keeping your sexuality a secret can be enormously stressful. Never lose sight of the fact you are not alone, you can and will get through this. Right now as you read this article there are millions of people all over the world facing the same situation as you. Give your parents time to adjust to this news and know that first reactions are not always lasting reactions. We all need time to process big news regardless of the situation. Give time, time.įirst reactions are raw, unprocessed and unpredictable. Stick with the truth, if you are gay, tell them. If you are coming out as gay, avoid the trap of thinking that coming out as bisexual first is an easier way to help them reach a place of acceptance. While it might feel scary to have to think about these questions, it’s crucial to be prepared. Your safety and well-being must always come first. Is now the right time? Would a safer option be to wait until you move out or go to Uni? What is your plan B if the worst does happen? Do you have the number for helplines? Can you go and stay with extended family or close a friend if you need some space while your parents adjust to the news. This will give you a safe space to turn to if your parent’s reaction is hostile and help you feel stronger going into it. This could be a teacher, someone from your extended family or a friend’s parent. Make sure you have support and tell at least one adult that you trust before you tell your parents. If you have homophobic parents but you want to come out – this article is for you. But all of them leave you thinking “that’s all very well and good but you don’t know MY mum or dad…” Some have been helpful, some are downright patronizing. So you’ve read a few blogs or articles, maybe watched some stuff on YouTube… generally done some research on how to come out to your parents.